What, me defensive?

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to shift from feeling collaborative, and in an instant, combative? One moment I see my workmate as a partner, the next she is my enemy. I shift from wanting to solve problems with her, to wanting to argue and win. Solution-seeking gives way to blame. Up-beat feelings of confidence, appreciation, and…

What’s your conflict style?

Communication and conflict go hand-in-hand when we work together on teams—especially when decisions need to be made. Our need to work together to achieve our goals bumps up against our varying responsibilities, temperaments, values, information, expertise, and cultural and ethnic backgrounds. Each of us has a personal approach to dealing with conflict situations. You might…

Are you learning in conflict?

In conflict situations, the way we say what we say often leads to more problems. In the book Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, the authors Stone, Patton and Heen present two stances, or ways interacting with the others: Telling and Learning. In moments of stress, most of us reactively shift into a…